Art for art's sake

I've been kvelling lately... check out this post that ran on kveller.com

The nine stages of toddler “art”

As little as I know about art, I know this: Art is subjective. I'm not talking about the popsicle sticks dangling from canvas in my local gallery, I am talking about the popsicle sticks dangling off the paper that my kid came home with last week. If the kid believes it's “art,” who am I to say otherwise? 

If you are now, or have ever been the parent of a toddler, you know exactly why "art" is in quotes. While these mini-masterpieces take many shapes and forms, few of them are what one might call gallery-ready. And yet we keep them for a variety of reasons: genuine enthusiasm, moderate appeal, guilt, sentimentality, confusion, misguided ambition, did I say guilt?

As I look around at the various piles accumulating in my house, I recognize the nine phases we go through with our toddler “art.”

1. The Prodigy

It all started when our little genius figured out how to hold a crayon properly in their hand… Amazing! With tongue splayed out the side of their mouth, contact was thoughtfully made with the paper… Incredible! Just like that, the first “masterpiece” was created. We cherished that first gem. It got pride of placement on the fridge and ample discussion of its many artistic merits. 

Should we start saving for art school now?

2. On A Roll

Having hit a stride, they master the effect of not just one, but every color in the box being scribbled across the page. Page after page. After page. Lots of scribbles. Lots of pages. Lots of praise--perhaps too much. 

The piles begin.

3. Medium Master

Moving on from crayons, they discover colored pencils, colored pens, markers (washable, if you’re lucky; Sharpies if you did something bad in a previous life), stamps, stickers, feathers, sticks, string, glue, and if you did something really bad in a previous life, glitter. Because each one is new and different, you feel inclined to love and cherish each one. 

The piles grow.

4. The Eye of the Beholder

You see a page that looks like someone was trying to get a dried out pen to work; they see a full story: characters, plot line, back story. 

You say it’s too bad that someone spilled some water on it. They correct you; that is how it is meant to look. Uhhh, sure. Whatever you say kid. We start to eye the piles suspiciously.

5. Magic Eye

Oh wow, that person actually looks like a person. Well, if people had their arms and legs coming right out of their heads. All of a sudden the scribbles have morphed into actual pictures that we can decipher and understand. And there are letters (trying to) spell something… Resume pile accumulation!

6. Grand Ambitions

As each piece is proudly presented, we think about all the things we could do. 

Start the checklist: 

We will date and record the intricate description on the back of each work of art, lest we forget that the black squiggle is the cat, the purple squiggle is the baby, and the green line is the lake that ate the monkeys.

We will collect them in folders/binders, sorted by color/medium/theme.

We will take a picture of each one, creating a catalog of files on our computer.

We will hang a wire with clips on the wall to display the most recent/impressive works.

We will upload them to a collage website and make a picture which uses all of them. Such a creative idea, no wonder the kid is so talented.

We will pick our 10 favorites and create a collage on their wall in various "artsy" vintage frames. Eventually… when there are 10 we think are worthy of a frame.

We will place our favorites in a portfolio, to help preserve them for a rainy day or a very special graduation/wedding gift.

We’re coming for you piles.

7. Reality Bites

Eventually we will glance awkwardly at the “art” that is waiting to be photographed/scanned/filed/organized/framed/packed away.

Slowly we will come to the realization that our ambitions may never see the light of day. 

And if we continue to let these piles of artwork grow, we also may never see the light of day.

8. Give it away, give it away now

Grandparents make great recipients (seriously, they eat that shit up). Also friends, neighbors, the crossing guard, doorman, the UPS delivery guy-anyone who might actually take some of this stuff off your hands.

9. Acceptance

Something’s gotta give. If we’re willing to accept that we might not ever get around to that list of ambitious projects, we must somehow eliminate the piles. Cue the list of lies we tell our kids when their “art” goes missing.  As long as we have a few left for them to find in an attic one day many years from now, we’ll be fine. 

Grant us the serenity to accept the “art” we cannot trash, the courage to trash the “art” we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Four from a series I like to call, WTF?