Thursday, February 25, 2016

To America

My fellow Americans;

I am writing this letter to ask you one simple thing today: please do not nominate my son to run for president.

First of all, my son lacks the experience necessary to run our country. Between you and me, he lacks life experience in general. While bossing people around and getting other people to clean up his shit can be repackaged to seem like qualifications, they don't truly cover all of the responsibilities of the leader of the free world.

Second, my son does not speak in coherent sentences. This fact does not prevent him from charming the pants off of people. But like his experience level, don't be fooled by his charm. What few words he does know he uses to the best of his ability, but the messages are unclear and very often misconstrued by others. That lack of comprehensibility means that he can elicit very negative responses from others with his behavior, often even worse than what he may have intended. On a national level, this incoherence runs the risk of inciting hateful speech and potentially even violence, a risk I am simply not willing to take.

My son is completely self-centered. He has not yet learned that we must behave in a certain way in order to promote decorum and civility within our society. I hope he will learn that soon, but common human decency just doesn't seem to have stuck yet. He has frequent emotional outbursts and seems to operate under the belief that mindlessly yelling nonsense at women is OK. It is not. Yet he yells what he wants, when he wants without reason or rationale.

Speaking of rationale, he flip-flops on the issues all the time. One minute he loves something, the next he is screaming as if that initial acceptance had never happened. He is moody and unpredictable and don't even get me started on when he is the least bit overtired.

In addition, he has attachment issues and doesn't do well with different people. We're working on it, but as America reflects the diversity of the world, I want a leader who is respectful of all people, not just those he knows personally.

I know this has nothing to do with being president, but his hair is out of control. It would be the laughing stock of the world, yet he doesn't seem to care about physical appearances enough to do something about it. Plus I have taken to hiding the scissors from him because, well, because I just don't trust him with scissors.

Which leads me to the issue of trust. Do we want a hot-headed serial screamer in charge of the armed forces, or more frighteningly, the nuclear codes? No we do not. 

In summary, I believe that our country deserves more in a president. We are a proud nation and I still have hope that we can all learn to work together to be a better nation. That being said, I just do not believe my son is the man for the job. Oh, no wait, did I say my son? No, my son is 16-months old. I meant Donald Trump. I don't think we should nominate Donald Trump. 
Sorry for the confusion, but everything I said still applies.

Thank you for your time.

This guy's mom
Yup, that hair

Someone just asked his position on green beans, which he loved yesterday.