Forget Shakespeare, you know what’s in most names? A lot, actually.
A lot of time spent thinking about the choices; a lot of consideration given to the assumed opinions of friends and family, honoring individuals, remembering family members, monograms, nicknames, abbreviated versions, how it sounds when read out loud in class or at awards ceremonies (hey, we can dream, right?), how it sounds when shouted in a reprimanding tone or in moments of sheer desperation, the possible ways people could make fun of the name or celebrate the name.
We parents don’t just pick these things out of thin air (for the most part).
This is why I find it impossible to share my potential baby names, even if they’re only potential names, with other people. Mainly because people can be total idiots sometimes....
Because I have been known to wax poetic from time to time, and because their graphics team ran out of time and wasn't able to include the accompanying poem, here it is:
The Name Game
I might name him Amy and I might name her Bert,
I might name for Exxon, Sears or my great-aunt Gert.
I might do it for glory like Honor or Blaze,
I might name them Oreo when deep in my fat phase.
If I name him Justyce, I know it's supposed to be an "i"
And maybe you're right, that hard I shouldn't try.
We all have different faves, that's what makes horse racing
And mine doesn't have to fit into your sausage casing.
Give me your opinion only when asked explicitly,
Cause I don't take unsolicited advice implicitly.
Please know it took time, intense thought and lots of love
If she's Edna or Agnes, it's not necessarily for someone above.
I might go top ten with Jayden or Liam
It's not that easy when I've still yet to meet him.
I won't judge you and your brood's alliteration
Just leave me to my name without obliteration.
Please don't make fun if Jane and Dave you find too boring
Or if I'm not forthcoming because yours is the name I'm storing.
Sorry if Skylar is too trendy for your taste
Or if I thought Stalin was too good a name to waste.
I might name her for grandparents gone but never forgotten
But no matter what I name him, I know I'll be besotten.
When I tell you Nick and you instead offer up Zack
I like that too, but Nick's the one, cut me some slack.
We all have different names and that's a good thing
Now let's focus on the child and all the wonder she can bring.
For even if he's Gomer or Steve or Mark or Sue
The name isn't even close to the worst thing as parents we will do.
We've got many years to mess with them beyond a Moses branding
Just give them love and acceptance to help them with their standing.
Give me suggestions only before I've made up my mind
Otherwise you can be a real pain in my behind.
Let me choose what I think suits her, you can name your own
Because I'm the one that gets to name this seed that I have sown.
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