Saturday, February 2, 2013

For better or best

I love my husband. Right around this time of year, with the stores all bedecked in pink and red confections, and also around his birthday, I am reminded that not every relationship is as easy as ours.

The people at Hallmark and whatever card companies CVS and Rite Aid carry make it abundantly clear that many marriages are full of bad moments. It is incredibly difficult to find a card that tells my husband how much I love him without mentioning something like "it's not always easy" or "I don't tell you this often enough" or "through the laughter and the tears" or "sorry I'm such a huge pain in the a$$, but you're no walk in the park either, you stupid jerk." The fact that I'm buying a card means I am trying to spread some love. If we agree to write in all the sh!tty stuff, can the card companies agree to put happy, positive cards out there to spread the love with? Thanks.

So, today being Groundhog Day and all, it seemed like a great day to say all the things I actually do make a point of saying on a regular basis. (Can you hear that? That's the sound of me patting myself on the back). In honor of the cinematic treasure starring a younger but equally beguiling Bill Murray, I am suggesting we act like it's that version of Groundhog Day every day. Everything except pulling a prickly little creature out of his home in the early hours of the morning. We should make the most of each day. Be the best version of yourself and try to make those around you happy. Live life to the fullest. And when the days all start to seem the same, seek out those you love and tell them so.

I love my husband. He knows this. Now you do too. Here are a few reasons why:

He kisses me goodbye every morning while I'm asleep, which usually wakes me up, but in the nicest way possible. When he wakes up the kid, however, it's quite a different story.

He cooks a mean Sunday roast.

He is not only smart, but witty and hysterically funny. He definitely makes me up my game.

He thinks I am funny. I know this because he giggles like a little girl when I make him really laugh.  I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for him telling me I'm funny, like that scene in Goodfellas. Incidentally, Joe Pesci and I have very similar tempers, but I am a little taller, little taller.

He shares my love for good bad food. (That would be food that tastes good, but may not be that good for you)

He is simply the best father I have ever known and I know one little nugget that agrees wholeheartedly.

He is the support network behind everything I do. So if you don't like something you read here, feel free to address your complaints to him.

He gets Maine. He has a genuine love for it that warms my heart. I mean, it's Maine, the way life should be. If he didn't like it, I would have seriously questioned his sanity.

He rented a castle to propose to me. Seriously, a castle. And not even a crappy one. Anne Boleyn's house. See...

It's raining cause it's England. Well, where would you go for a nice castle?

He is patient when I go crazy, which is sometimes. Just kidding. I'm always sane and balanced and rational and right. No, but really, I am always right... at least in my own mind.

He is the only person that can half-listen to a long-winded speech of mine and totally understand what I said. This happened the second time we ever hung out. Everyone else looked around uncomfortably, having no idea what I was talking about. (Talking sh!t is one of my more under-appreciated talents). He gave me a look that said, I got it. The look also said, Maybe don't say anything for a few minutes to give the others a chance to forget the fog you just left them in. Clearly we understand each other.

He kicks me in his sleep (not lightly!) and refuses to apologize because he scored an amazing goal.

He is confident enough to acknowledge that he may not be talented enough to play professional soccer. Hence why I have to let him score goals in his sleep.

He regularly thanks me for introducing him to challah bread and forcing him to like pickles on a burger. I've given up on making him like olives.

He devotedly follows a food store he's never been to on Facebook. Partially because it's named for/near his football team's old stadium;
store: Piebury Corner, stadium: Highbury Corner (clever!), and also because they post regular pictures of their savoury pies... His version of porn. They do look pretty good though:

He pointed out one of the female performers on the Disney Jr. channel as being too sexy. Thankfully she was one of the grown up performers on that channel, not one of the kids.

He spent an hour giggling into his iPad only to then show me this picture, which is f$&@ing hilarious.

Sorry ladies, he's spoken for

I never knew what a snail would sound like until he started doing a snail voice for one of our daughter's bath toys and seriously, he nailed it. Or did he s-nail it???

He is mortified on a regular basis when I somehow find a way to have an awkward exchange with anyone I share an elevator ride with, anywhere. Awkward being the key word here... but I think secretly he loves it.

Every present he has ever given me has been amazingly perfect, starting right after the first one. It was a candle. It's message was "maybe we should just be friends." I respectfully declined that offer and now we are the best of friends... with benefits. And the same last name. And a kid.

I was privy to a few too many tragic losses last year. It left me with an overwhelming belief that you have to tell the people you love that you love them. My husband and I tell each other we love each other regularly. Not just a quick love ya as we get off the phone, but moments of genuine recognition of our good fortune at having found lasting true love with each other. I know I am lucky, my daughter is lucky, my family is lucky to have such an amazing man in our lives.

So while Hallmark has neither perfected the Groundhog Day card nor the card for someone that really loves their spouse, I thought today would be the perfect day to say it all over again. Please find someone you love and tell them you love them today, tomorrow, the day after, and the day after, etc.

As an early Valentine, I end with a little gem from the Genesis vault. In typical Phil Collins fashion, he s-nails it. I should note that as it was 1978, he is not referring to Twitter or blogs or anything more than a groovy kind of love. Though it would be a few years before he recorded his version of Groovy Kind of Love. Enjoy.

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