2022 in Re(ar)view

Another year in the rearview, another year in review.

Please enjoy the word salad that was 2022.

Wishing you a wonderful new year filled with only the best love, laughter and celebrity drama there is.

It can still get better!

2022 in Re(ar)view

Happy Earth Day!

Funny thing about the Earth: it's not indestructable. Funnier thing about humans: despite needing the Earth to live on, we are actively destroying it. Not cool.

Climate scientists are trying to warn us, but we are not listening... kinda reminds me of kids in general. We want to protect them and keep them safe, but they just don't want to hear it. Climate scientists are just trying to help and world leaders just don't want to hear it.

Hope you will like and share this video.

I'm Warning You video

Also, if you can, here are some great places to donate money.

Environmental Defense Fund The Solutions Project Rainforest Coalition Clean Air Task Force

Union of Concerned Scientists

If you can't donate money, do what you can: compost, bring a reusable bag, recycle, call your elected officials and tell them you care about the Earth remaining inhabitable. We can only make a difference if we work together.

Jokes!

I've been performing standup for a few years now, which is live and fleeting and amazing.

But to be hip like the young kids nowadays, I have to create content for online consumption...

Enter the video of a live joke:

Subway joke

I'm hoping to post one every week... which most likely means I will post one for three weeks in a row, then once a month, then once in a while. Does owning my lack of motivation make it better? Maybe!

If you like my joke videos, hope you'll check out my Showtime! page and join me at a live show.

Are you still watching?

Netflix loves a good algorithm. So if they have you watching one of their shows, they want to keep you for other shows. 

I am recommending they develop a new technology: the "sounds like" algorithm, a way to rebrand shows to appeal to fans of their other shows. 

For example, for fans of the show Cobra Kai, they will now offer:

Cobra Sty: Hoarders

Cobra Buy: Shark Tank

Cobra Pie: Great British Baking Show

Cobra High: Dopesick

Cobra High: Free Solo

Cobra High: High School Musical the Musical the Series

Cobra Chai: (pronounced like the Hebrew letter chai): Unorthodox

Cobra Chai: (pronounced like the tea beverage): all of their Bollywood titles

Cobra Eye: Queer Eye For the Straight Guy

Cobra Spy: The James Bond catalog

Cobra Thigh: Workout Classes

Cobra Nye: Bill Nye Science Guy

Cobra Fry: Supersize Me and The Founder

Cobra Why: The Footloose re-make from 2011 and the Overboard remake from 2018 (also could be called Cobra Unnecessary)

and something for the kids, because it's too easy: Cobra Caillou

The Exit Interview

End of the year, end of the line. Let's face it... it's just not working out.

The Exit Interview

Please watch on YouTube and like, share, subscribe and all those things that we need to feel good about our life decisions. Thank you! 

Enjoy your last week of 2021!

Why I’m leaving my husband for Bluey’s dad

I have a crush. My current notepad is all hearts and doodles of our names written together: I heart Bandit Heeler, Mrs. Bandit Heeler, Bandit + Lindsey 4-ever

Sure he’s the 2-D doggie star of a hit Australian TV cartoon. But a girl can dream, right?

First off, if you are not yet familiar with the TV show Bluey, go do yourself a favor and invest a minimum of 7 minutes (length of one episode). Even if you don’t have kids, it’s worth it.

In my youth I went for unapologetic good looks, charm and musical talent. But several years into motherhood, what truly makes me swoon is watching a fun, active, exceptional dad. Bluey’s dad Bandit isn’t just competent, he’s extraordinary; his commitment to his family undeniable. He is a very good boy indeed. Some say man’s best friend, I think best friend with benefits?

Bandit. Just his name evokes the remarkable intersection of obedience and naughtiness… he’s not Killer, not Fang, not Crusher… he’s Bandit. Bandit Heeler. It implies a certain mischievousness lacking any real malice. He’s perfectly imperfect. A bad boy with a good heart. Bandit’s so cool, he could make “fetch” happen.

That good heart (along with his rugged good looks) are on display as he sets his life aside daily to engage with his children and be the best dad he can be. Bandit is patient and kind, but also silly and self-deprecating. It is a level of paternal selflessness and devotion to family not seen on TV since… well, since ever. He works from home, available to play with his kids whenever they want. They come first. And how can you not love a man who only wants others to come first?

Bandit is laid-back, a true domestic dog, which is most apparent in his elaborate brekkie (that’s Australian for breakfast) as well as his nappy (that’s non-American for diaper) changing. In fact, his back still ails him from said nappy changing, a pain he manages to push aside for the joy and amusement of his children… what a guy! So relatable, yet approachable. The kind of dog you just want to grab a beer with and scratch behind the ears real nice. 

One of Bandit’s most endearing qualities is his insistence that his wife live her life and go to work, exercise, or out with her friends. Don’t worry, he’s got the kids. They’re in good hands, or paws, or whatever… either way, he’s got them. All us moms really want is time away, knowing the children are well looked after. Bandit ensures our peace of mind while we are away, and is never too exhausted to play once we return. I’d give that dog a bone.

He also loves a bit of make-believe: imaginative play, role playing, cosplay. Bandit excels at keeping his kids not only entertained, but laughing and happy. There’s nothing sexier to a mom. And then there’s keepy-uppy… I’ll play keepy-uppy with you Bandit.

Of course a huge part of what I love about Bandit is his dedication to his family, so deep down I know he would never leave Chilli for me. But, Bandit, as the notecard in Love Actually read so succinctly: ‘To me, you are perfect.’

And sure, my human partner is the closest thing to a real-life version of Bandit I’ve ever seen, so I am incredibly lucky. But my heart will always have a spot for Bandit Heeler. 

Woof.

Return of the Cicadas

The cicadas are back! 

After chillin' underground for the past 17 years, the cicadas known as Brood X are returning to the Eastern United States as the weather warms.

They are here to mate. To do that the males make a buzzing sound, which is their mating song. I'm sure it's lovely when you're one on one, but these guys are back in the billions, and they've only got 3-5 weeks to get their procreation on. 

Of course, having missed the better part of the last 17 years, they may have some cultural catching up to do... 

This is video from their welcome back party...

Welcome back Brood X!