Overdue, why yes, yes I am

October 10, 2014
As with many pregnancies, my due date has come and gone and still no baby. A common occurrence really, or if not common, pretty much a 50/50 split between early and late due to some wildly conflicting statistics out there.

I have now been pregnant for 40 weeks and 4 days. That's 9 months and 10 days, or 284 days total. I have been aware of my pregnancy for most of this time, minus the first few weeks when I may or may not have downed a few bottles of wine that fall under that: "don't drink anymore but don't worry about those" category my doctor so eloquently laid out for me.

Of the 284 days, I have felt pretty good for most of the time. What this means is that I have had bouts of nausea, fatigue, aches, pains, heartburn, cramps and growing pains throughout, but in general count myself amongst the lucky ones who have actually felt more good than bad. Mentally I would say I have also been more on the positive side for the past 284 days. I fear that all of that may change if I continue to be pregnant for much longer. This has nothing to do with the very large yet comfortable (apparently) baby residing in my gut. This has everything to do with the fact that all of a sudden, I have become the most popular person in the world, or at least it feels that way. 

Over the course of a regular week in my life, if you count phone calls, texts and emails, I probably hear from approximately 2.3 friends or family members total on average. Starting about a week before my due date, and then kicking into high gear on the actual due date, I now hear from approximately 2.3 friends every few hours. This is incredibly sweet, thoughtful, kind, and sympathetic. This is also incredibly annoying. I'm sorry... that is so rude to say considering these people are just showing an interest in me, my unborn child and my health status. I am a terrible person... I get it. That being said, having to respond "yes, I am still pregnant" and "no baby yet" no fewer than 8 times a day isn't really helping matters along here. 

I promise I will let you know when the baby arrives. It's only one of the most joyous moments of my life, and I tend to be a bit of an over-sharer anyways (hello? Gratuitous self-serving blog anyone?)

So, to save everyone a little bit of time, until you hear otherwise, here are the responses to your questions:

• How're you feeling/doing? Large and in charge.
• You still pregnant? Yes, I am.
• Baby today? Maybe... I'll be sure to let you know if and when that happens.
• Anything? No nothing.
• How are you today???? Same as yesterday: still pregnant.
• Any baby news? Not news, per se, but I am due to have one any day and as one of my closest friends/family members, I will be sure to notify you when that happens.
• What's the status? The status is I have a massive baby in my belly and instead of trying to rest or get things done to prepare, I am writing you back to tell you that.
• Anything? Nothing.
• WTF??? I know, right! Right back atcha.
• Everything OK? Yeah, I suppose. Depends on your definition of OK. I am not currently pushing a baby through my lady bits, so I guess that's OK. I am currently eating as if I am going to the chair including fistfuls of candy corn washed down with heaping spoonfuls of peanut butter, and that's OK. I am ramping up my walking and finding reasons to head crosstown on foot, even if it is just to hit up another supermarket for more pineapple, which is OK. I am looking up eggplant fra diavolo recipes while rolling on a medicine ball just before my scalding hot shower, which burned like hell, but I'll be OK. So yes, I suppose everything is OK.
• Baby here yet? Did we have a falling out that I forgot about and you're nervous I won't tell you when the baby does come? Cause we're cool. You're on the email list. I promise that within 24 hours of one of the happiest moments of my life I will actually want to tell everyone I know about it. Thankfully, these days there is email and the internet making it ridiculously easy for me to do so. But in answer to your specific question, no, the baby is not here yet.
• Sooooo????? Indeed.

To all of my dear friends and loved ones, thank you so much for all the love and support you are continuing to show me. Please don't take this personally. Trust me, I want to share the good news as much as you want to hear it... arguably more because it means I will get a glass of wine and some sushi out of it. I promise, this baby can't stay in there forever... it will happen. And when it does, I will be sure to let you know.

Still here!