Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Enough of this sh!t

I love dogs. I might not ever own one due to my husband's allergies - even to so-called "hypo-allergenic" dogs. Yes, those exist. But I do love them. I had a dog growing up (Spartacus), I have dogs in my family, my friends have dogs, and I love them all. But I take major exception to some of the dog owners in my neighborhood. They might love dogs, but they also seem hellbent on making their neighbors hate dogs in the form of poo abuse. Some people pick up their poo, but not all, and this is becoming a big problem for me.

The Canine Waste Law, more familiarly known as the "pooper scooper" law, first introduced in New York City in 1978, requires all dog walkers to pick up their pet's waste in all public areas.

The law, 161.03 of the New York City Health Code, states, “A person who owns, possesses or controls a dog, cat or other animal shall not permit the animal to commit a nuisance on a sidewalk of any public place.” 

So technically, they shouldn't even be committing the act... but it's not really the act I have a problem with, it is the clean-up and removal of said nuisance. The mayor at the time the law was passed, the late, great Ed Koch said "if you've ever stepped in dog doo, you know how important it is to enforce the canine waste law."

He's right. It's a great law. Do you know why it's great? Because it's intent was that we all don't have to step in dog sh!t every day... in theory. You kind of have to wonder what society is coming to that this falls under enforceable laws and not simple common sense. But do you know what sucks? It is rarely enforced and therefore very easy to ignore. I am sick of having to count on karma to get these bastards back for their laziness.

I have a child. With that child came a whole slew of responsibilities. Dog owners have their own set of responsibilities that come with their little ones. I have to clean up after my child, no matter how messy or disgusting her poo is. [Just so we're clear, no one can step in my kid's poo if I were to leave it there!] The same should be true for dog owners. Why do they think they don't have to clean up just because their dog is ill?  I skipped out on showing you pictures here because a) it's really disgusting and b) I didn't want to be the weird lady taking pictures of dog poo in the street. You can earn a very strange reputation very easily in my hood. Just ask sandals-in-the-winter guy or walks-her-cat-on-a-leash lady.

But it's not just when they leave a horrible liquid mess for me to avoid as I innocently walk down the street. I'm also talking to the person who lets their dog sh!t on top of a mound of snow and leaves it there. Did I seriously witness several examples of this?? Yes, and again, no pictures, but you have to believe me. I seriously don't get it. That is just about the most straight forward, easy clean up possible. It's not going to melt and disappear like the snow you know. Now it just sits atop a pedestal for us to gaze upon? Gross!

I'm also talking to the person who lets their dog sh!t on grates. You can obviously see that it didn't fall through. Was that what you were hoping for? I understand that you might lose some of the poo between the grates as you clean it up, but give it a f#$%ing shot, will you?

I'm also not a huge fan of the people that curb their dog and think it's ok to leave it there, just off the curb sitting in the street, either. It's simple physics... if you've ever been near a street cleaner as it passes, all sorts of sh!t gets kicked up from the bristles, and in this case I mean literal sh!t. Disgusting.

And just a reminder to all of the dog owners out there: removing only some of the poo is pretty much the same as not removing any. I don't care how big the original pile was, there is still some there for us to step in you fool! Clean it up!

Do they leave their houses like this? If their dog relieves himself in the living room, do they just leave it there? I'm not sure why I would be happier to hear them say yes when that obviously makes it so much worse, but I would. Consistency is comforting.

I currently walk the city with a stroller, which means I don't always see exactly what is in front of me, often to horrendous ends. Do you know how hard it is to get dog poo off a stroller wheel? It's f#$%ing hard. And if you do know, did you know that finding a patch of grass to randomly roll through helps get the poo off, but it doesn't make you feel good about yourself? You should know that part.

All I am asking is that you clean up after your dog. If not for common sense rules of decency or the law which states you must, then just do it for the rest of us who may or may not be attentive enough to watch out for these little landmines you leave behind. Otherwise, I can only hope that as you walk around Hell, you will constantly have dog sh!t on your foot, and human poo on your head. Justice at last!
Oh, sh!t!

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